How my parents divorce helped me achieve Harmonious Twin Flame Union

I wanted to write this because I see a lot of people struggling to pursue their Twin Flame journey because they are married with another and have children. I see many people being afraid to take the next step because they might hurt their spouse and their children for what seem like the selfish pursuit of their Twin Flame, their Perfect Lover.

My parents divorced when I was 17, so I will share my story with you so you can have an insight of what might come your way. While I know each situation and circumstance is unique, I hope this can be of any use for you.

It was my 17th birthday. My father had to leave early in the morning to be with my mom on the countryside. At this point in time, they were in a long distance relationship for 2 years since my mom moved to the countryside to take care of my grandparents. It wasn't easy, but they did this so I could finish high school in the city and pursue my career. Dad took care of me while mom took care of my grandparents.

I just got out of school when I got a sudden call from my mom. This was a bit of an unusual thing to happen. I answered only to be met with my mom's shaky voice telling me: "Be careful, your dad just left here. He was quite mad. We had a bad fight and we'll get a divorce." It was a gloomy, rainy winter day. I don't know what we talked more besides this but I do remember sitting outside and staring at a tree for what seemed like long time trying to grasp the reality of what was about to happen. My dad did came home and he was deeply upset by what was happening, as anyone could expect.

Indeed, this did became reality. At that point both of my parents avoided to tell me what was happening and why were they divorcing. There's no point in going into what happened between them, as that is their story, however the only thing I could think about as all of this was happening was "Why?" and "How?" specifically:

- Why did this fight break them?

- Why did they fall out of love?

- How could they divorce after 21 years being together?

- How is any of this possible?

- Why is any of this happening?

The idea of being 21 years married, allegedly in love with someone, only to turn out to not be the case, shook me. I already had frivolous romantic relationships at that point and I thought I got the "falling in love" and then "falling out of love" thing… but I thought you would marry the right person and things would just work out. Obviously, that is not the case, but my mind was still pretty young and unbothered by serious life things like. I did start to think of more serious life things after this event.

One thing that I swore to myself as I was going through this is to never put myself or my future husband through something like this. I wanted to avoid it and wanted to make it right by finding the one I would fall in love with only to forever be together... and especially not let any fight or circumstance break us.

It was definitely a cold shower awakening to be presented with this possibility - that I could marry someone, build a life together only for it to crumble and to be left to rebuild it all again.

The fact that I witnessed my parents go through this... It allowed me to make different choices for myself, which ultimately lead to my Twin Flame and my Harmonious Twin Flame Union. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So how did it feel for me to go through this process? Well, it was confusing. We were all suffering in one way or another, with no support or way to deal with the situation. What followed was the "taking sides" war. It was expected of me to take a side of who I "loved" more or wanted to be around more in the family. Not only my parents but also my relatives. I, quite frankly, thought I was not equipped to make such judgements or I didn't feel good to stop loving a side over the other. I decided to stay neutral, which has been especially complicated when one side of the family would start talking bad about the other side of the family (with or without justification). I often times had to put boundaries or remove myself from conversations that became toxic just for the sake of being toxic. I couldn't understand how people who claimed to be family and loved each other one year could turn against each other in this way. The very essence of what family was supposed to be was turned upside down for me not only by the split of my parents but then the upcoming split of my family as well.

I believed I had a happy family... but if that were the case, why would this happen? As I allowed myself to be honest too, I saw the little signs that showed that the relationship was not as great as it seemed like: my parents not agreeing on major moves in their life, not agreeing about the direction of their future, subtle looks of anger, sadness, bitterness being thrown at each other, my parents rejecting each other romantically and many more things like this. Despite these things, I was told that it was normal and everyone went through this and I shouldn't worry about it. "They can figure it out" I believed... until the rift was so great that they couldn't just... figure it out.

Despite the difficulties, there was a time of "confession" where everyone seemed to come clean about their true feelings about the family. It was interesting for me to listen and observe everyone and their point of view... It did make it very complicated still to "take sides" since everyone seemed justified in their own actions or choices. After the wounds started healing, this became even more so apparent. Everyone got what they wanted in one way or another. Having this level of introspection and honesty from people was new and refreshing. There was no mask being held anymore and everyone just became who they were. Some faces were nice, some were not so nice, some were exactly the same. I found out the true nature of many of my relatives at that time and that was something really really valuable.

My relationship with my mom was never that great... however we seemed to come closer after this event. I didn't understand my mother in many ways but, after her opening up and being honest about things, I felt I managed to get her a bit more and be more friendly. It was odd when she got in a relationship for the first time after the divorce, but I wanted to support her in her new life and happiness. All I cared was that she was happy because the radical choice of the divorce should, technically, be made for something that should be far more valuable than the marriage itself. I was curious to see what was this more valuable thing.

I had always loved my father dearly. Seeing him suffer in these times was not easy, but as he healed and made the best out of this, we also got to experience a side of our relationship that I don't think we could have if not for these events. He quit his job to pursue his hobby which I helped him with. Then he started going into dating and I remember giving him dating advice. For me, despite the challenges, I appreciated seeing my father choosing to overcome this and pursue being happy to the best of his abilities.

I can say that I enjoyed the relationships I developed with my parents post the divorce. They felt somehow more human since there was no need to pretend or hide anything from me, which I had found they did a lot under the pretext of shielding me from their difficulties. I do understand where they were coming from, but I did found them to be quite robotic beforehand since we rarely had real emotions being shared in the family.

As all of this was transgressing, I was also going into the dating world. I was not looking for anything serious so, the most of my relationships were... well... not serious. They were great experiences that helped me get clear on what I desired. However, after some of these relationships I got tired. Each breakup was not fun to deal with emotionally so I did start to look for "the one". I started to have longer and longer relationships... but there was just something that I could feel coming when a relationship was about to end. Without sounding mean, it did feel like the relationships had an expiration date. Because of my parents divorce, I always had in the back of my mind "what would happen in 20 years?". Doing a small exercise of imagining how my relationship with that person could look like in 20 years always helped me to bring that "expiration date" sooner rather than later. When I had thoughts like this, I was already friends with Laurentiu in university. Spoilers: Laurentiu was and is the only person I felt that our romantic relationship doesn’t have an expiration date.

As odd as it might be, my parents divorce made me really choose “the one” in my life. I think I always wanted “the one” as anyone else, but it was until I saw the effects of not being with them that I made a decision to find them and be with them… however I didn’t see it this way in the beginning. I had to go through my own feelings and healing about what happened. I was upset with my parents. I was angry at them. I resented them even. I was not nice to them sometimes. We hurt each other… but I can see all of us didn’t know any better at that time. We were all cracked open in a profound way for all of us to receive great healing.

This is where I am incredibly grateful for Jeff and Shaleia and their teaching. I was able to heal and see the truth about not only what happened between my parents (they were not Twin Flames :) so of course their relationship wasn’t that great) but also the truth about family and romantic love, which was shook up within me ever since their divorce. Now I have a clear formula of what it means to be with my one true love, my Twin Flame. I know what to do when we fight, I know the truth about our connection, I have the support system around me to guide me at all times. I also am sharing this healing with my parents, in a way that they can receive it too. Things are improving all around.

Certainly, this is also happening because of my choices. I cannot guarantee what would happen if you so choose to follow your heart and how your children would choose to support you or not, however… from what I see in my life and in the lives of others, things do sort themselves out as you heal.