Harmonious Twin Flame Union Update 3 - What is actually happening!
Hello everyone!
I felt very inspired by the latest shares in our community to give a more in depth update on our Twin Flame journey.
As some of you might know, 28 of February was my last day at my day job. I quit in order to be an Ascension Coach for Twin Flames Universe and a full game developer and CEO for Divine Gaming. It is a little more than one month since that happened, but oh boy, it feels like lifetimes.
In the beginning, I thought I would simply go from… 8h at day job to 8h at Divine Gaming/Coaching. Easy, right? Well… no. Even before fully finishing the day job, I started to experience extreme exhaustion. I remembered at some point Shaleia shared how, when she quit her job to be with Jeff, she felt in similar ways. I was completely blindsided by the amount of exhaustion I was carrying inside of me, and the first days off my job I spend mostly sleeping, resting and not doing a lot of things. I felt very resistant to rest, and in some ways resistant to change. My life has taken a new direction, one that I never dreamed of taking, which is being an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is completely different than being a salary person, but I see that, in the beginning, I was treating my Life Purpose as my day job. This is something that I am learning right now, how to ACTUALLY LIVE my Life Purpose (highly recommend Life Purpose Class to help you with this, it helps us all the time).
In my first days free, I was talking with Laurentiu about how I was feeling. The image I got was like a big Gudam (picture for refernce)
That sat in the same place for centuries. And now it had to move. The joints are rusted, crackling, and there is a fear that the whole thing might fall apart. But the desire to move is stronger than comfort of … rust. Lol, the insanity.
In short, I felt something big was changing. And while I knew that was true, I believe in many ways I have been underestimating the degree of this change.
The first major change was something Laurentiu and I deeply desired, which is to coach together. Now it is actually possible and I started going into sessions almost immediately after my job ended. It felt good to connect with people and help them go deeper towards their Harmonious Twin Flame Union.
The first Red Flag
As we continued to work on our Life Purpose, I noticed how Laurentiu became more and more drained, as I became more and more anxious. This was not right and I knew that there was an imbalance in our Union. With all the Divine Masculine/Divine Feminine healing going on in the community, we were not spared and this is how I, as a Divine Feminine, was pulling onto Laurentiu’s masculinity in order to feel safe in this big change that we are processing. With all the healing going on in the community, I was able to identify how I was trying to take Laurentiu’s place and become like him. I thought this was the best thing to do in order for us to prosper in our HTFU, but this is a lie. I am perfect as I am and Laurentiu needs me as I am in order for us to prosper.
The second Red Flag
Another big topic that has arrived in the community is who is the inner and who is the outer Twin Flame. In the Twin Flame dynamic, one of the Twin Flames usually hold space and grounds the Union spiritually as the other one works externally. This is not to say that one of you is 100% inner and 100% outer, but there are moments in your partnership where you have to be mindful of the balance. This is a topic me and Laurentiu have been going deeper into ever since joining Chrissy’s Leadership class, and going deeper into seeing how we partner together in this space.
Here comes my biggest frustration that happened this month. I felt I did NOTHING, and this outraged me on a deep level. I knew I was invited in deeper and deeper surrender, faith and trust in God, but I could not shake this feeling up of nothing happening. While I knew this was a lie, and I saw things moving around me, there was this part of me in need of a lot, a lot, a lot of love and compassion as I processed this.
What is actually happening?
Laurentiu and I know each other for 5 years, been together for 3, in Harmonious Union for 10 months, and been engaged for 4 months. In all of this time, I was the outer Twin Flame, while Laurentiu hold up the spiritual aspect of our Union. THIS IS THE CHANGE! As we grow and expand I have to allow Laurentiu to be the outer Twin Flame, and for me to become more of the inner Twin Flame. This change made me feel extremely uncomfortable some times in the past month. I was resistant as fuck, and trying to control my way out of this because… it’s something really new for me. I have never been, fully and completely, the inner Twin Flame (not in this life, at least), but I see how this change is required for us to go deeper in our HTFU, and I choose to go through this, not matter how uncomfortable the feelings are. I know I am always supported by God and my Twin Flame perfectly, and it is safe for me to traverse all of my feelings. I was amazed, and kind of in denial, of how much resistance I had to doing the inner work in this way, but it’s safe to be humble, accept and learn. Watching Twin Flame Ascension School Classes is highly valuable, and helped us a lot in processing this change.
As we transition this, I saw the importance of communication between us. There were times I couldn’t “hold” the wheel spiritually and had to let Laurentiu know, so we don’t get too high or move from a place of upset. I am very grateful for him that he sits me down, and let’s me process my feelings the best I can, and doesn’t let me sit in them, no matter what my stubborn ass might say. I was able to experience him as my teacher in a whole new way during this transition. And I still have a lot to learn.
Special thanks to Gabe and Briana and this particular blog post! <3 That helped me get clear on “What is actually happening!”
Lots of love!
Laurentiu and Alexandra
