How to love a part of you that doesn't know how to receive love

Hello everyone! This is a bit of a personal update on what I am currently healing through.

I have been doing the Mirror Exercise and studying the Teachings of Union for about 5 years now. I am also in Harmonious Union with my beloved Twin Flame. Despite all that, in one of my recent healing session with my coach, Daniel, I have discovered a deep part of myself that didn't even know how to receive love and how that feels like.

It all started with me moving through a feeling of apathy. I was dealing with not caring about myself or anything that I know that I usually love. In this place, it felt like there was no light, no sunshine, no happiness, no joy. I usually deal with a lot of places like this within myself so at first, I wasn't too concerned.

I proceed to start loving that part of me that way I usually am but... this time it didn't seem to work out. No matter how much love I gave that part of me, no matter how much I showed her I cared about her, she would stand still apparently unfazed by anything I was doing. What I usually experience is seeing that part of me that is upset get better, sometimes slower, sometimes faster, but never unresponsive. I am usually used to see that part of me receive the love and healing.

This was odd. I communicated this with my coach and instantly got an image to clarify what was happening. I saw this part of me like a little starving child from Africa and I was handling her suitcases with $10m in each. While I knew how valuable and important was for her to receive that and how much it would help, she got didn't. The money and suitcases seemed alien to her and she didn't know what to do with them. She could choose to maybe burn them or ignore them and continue living the same way as before. I was in shock.

My coach guided me to see that I simply needed to share with her the value of the love that I was offering. I needed to teach her what I was offering to her and how important it was for her to know that.

So, I resumed my Step 4. Now allowing myself to be present with that part of me and teach her about love and care and why it was important for her to know about all these things and why it would improve her life. It was a bit sticky but the more I was present and allowed myself to share that with myself, the easier it became. I had to sit a few good minutes in this space until I felt a shift. Yes, even after 5 years of Mirror Exercise there's places that need a lot of love and care when I approach doing the healing. I am grateful for the support of my coach to be able to move through places like this.

After I felt some more relief, there were things that I had to teach that part of me. If I were to continue the analogy with the little child, I had to teach myself the value of money and how much money I had. Then I had to teach myself the power of money and what I could do with it. Then I had to teach myself how to invest and use money. Then I had to teach myself how to grow those money and take opportunities.

In 1 Mirror Exercise, I had to basically take that part of me from knowing 0 things about money, not even knowing what money was, to an expert in the financial field. I did this with God... or rather God did this through me. This is the power of the Mirror Exercise. This came up as an example with money but the energy or process of it can be applied with any upset.

Not knowing what love feels like? Do that.

Not knowing what taking care of yourself means? Do that.

Not knowing what romance or romancing yourself feels like? Do that.

You have the power to shift anything in your consciousness.

I also wanted to share another thing that I feel helps me a lot in doing the Mirror Exercise and Step 4, especially when I might deal with things like this. I always allow myself to see the "2" parts of me in this interaction. I call them the "big" me and the "little" me.

Big Alexandra - Is the one that is doing the Mirror Exercise, connected to God and source and ready to heal

Little Alexandra - Is the one that is upset and needs healing, in separation consciousness

One thing I noticed with people doing the Mirror Exercise is that they might get stuck when they connect with that part that is upset, and let that part overwhelm them. Like you forget about the existence of God and love to begin with when you are trying to heal. That's ok, I've been there. This trick that I will share has helped me not get in these spaces so often:

Little Alexandra has the right to be upset and throw a fit or do whatever she needs to do to express her upset and be able to receive love. It's ok for her to be upset and for her to need help. That's my attitude when I see that part of me. Big Alexandra has "the big shoes" on, and is responsible, loving and caring, ready to be present with Little Alexandra and provide her anything she needs so Little Alexandra feels loved. Big Alexandra knows God's truth and can call on God whenever she needs support or when Little Alexandra demands it. Big Alexandra can listen to whatever separation consciousness Little Alexandra has to express, but she will not believe it one bit and she will be ready to provide the Divine Truth about how things are actually going. Big Alexandra is aware and conscious of the Teaching of Union and will use it at her own discretion when necessary.

It's really important for me to have this clear boundary between these parts of me when I do healing. I have been also overwhelmed by my own upsets, especially when I tried to do the Mirror Exercise without writing it down. Writing down the Mirror Exercise has helped me see clearly the difference between these 2 parts of me. I still weite down the Mirror Exercise sometimes to be able to be grounded in the steps and I always find it very grounding and supportive to write the Mirror Exercise down.

Hope this share helps you in your healing journey <3

With love,

Alexandra